Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
