He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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