My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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