so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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