meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
