I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
