Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
