he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
