It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
