She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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