i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
