it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
