Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
