Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just found a bag of teeth...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize