my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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