glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
