he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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