All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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