I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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