Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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