real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
