I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you win again, gameday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
