nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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