he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
