Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
