you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just pee around me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
