I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
