Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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