she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
