I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
