No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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