Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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