Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize