If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize