she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
