I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
