then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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