So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
