You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
