so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
