His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
