I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
