i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
