I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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