All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
