I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This is my gift to your gina
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize