I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
