Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
