im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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