Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
