She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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