I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
