He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
