she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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