Non-Jews are for practice
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
