Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My vagina is very pro this idea
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
