She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
