before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
