drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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