Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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